I have
fellow mates, who write blogs, even i have another one, but the only problem
is, Ive got 2 sides to me, and explaining them both on one blog, is a very big
havoc, mishap, and a riddle again. because both contradict each other so
much, I feel schizophrenic. Though don't worry, I am not. I pretty much
know what I am doing & when, and i take pride in the maturity in me. At the
same time i wish i was stupid, so that i could enjoy the world better.
Criticise less. State out my opinion less. Be less of a control freak. Scream
less. Strive less for perfection. or be less emotional about things.
Alright,
who am i kidding? is that ever even going to happen? sounds like a dream. A bad
dream definately. Or maybe a good one.
I take
pride in my honesty, but I know that its got its own price. and its a hard one
to pay. I have ended up alienating my friends, pushing away my best friend in
the whole world, who i no longer talk to, creating a communication gap in my
family. and overall just being a sucked up case.
people say
i have changed. bleh. i still feel the same.. hmm.. then i wonder what
changed.
Took me a
while to figure out and dont be really excited, i still havent figured it out.
I suck at all this.
People say
i play mind games. but for the truth, i just speak up what i want and feel the
most. People hate me for it, I have turned alot of people against me. But if I
ended up doing it, i would be called neurotic, a sadist, and what all big
words, that i had to look up in the dictionary. Belch, time waste.
So i
decided, that those of my friends, who actually care and gave a fuck, would
actually come up. and those who didnt would let me get alienated like i never
existed. and i guess the latter is what is happening at the moment.. if the
lords have their mercy, a serendipity might occur. But its like even luck
turned against me, with 2012 the world may not be doomed, but i surely am..
People things. everything has decided to go against me.
And i dont
care if nobody reads this, i am letting out my heart, and its better than being
hated for who i am .
Amen.
Jokes.
Peace out brothers.
